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Lasting longer during sex can prolong pleasure for both partners. Tips for lasting longer include pelvic exercises, foreplay, using the stop-start method, and seeking medical help for premature ejaculation.
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Being able to continue sexual activities for longer periods may help all parties have satisfactory sex and reach orgasm.
A 2020 study suggests that the average female in a monogamous heterosexual relationship needs 13.41 minutes to orgasm from penile-vaginal intercourse. In contrast, the average male can take 5–7 minutes to reach orgasm and ejaculate. Certain techniques may make it easier to last longer in bed.
2020 study
5–7
In this article, we will discuss 11 methods that people can try to last longer in bed.
A quick look at the best methods to aid premature ejaculation
Best therapy option: ReGain therapy | Skip to review
ReGain therapy
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Best desensitizer: Roman Swipes | Skip to review
Roman Swipes
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Best for medication: Hims | Skip to review
Hims
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What is premature ejaculation?
Definitions of premature ejaculation (PE) vary. The American Urological Association consider PE to be any time a person ejaculates earlier than they or their partner would like. Other organizations assign specific time frames.
premature ejaculation (PE)
American Urological Association
For example, the International Society of Sexual Medicine suggests that ejaculating within 1 minute of penetration may qualify as PE. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) concurs with this criteria.
1 minute
However, the length of time is less important than how ejaculation affects the relationship. If a person ejaculates so early that it causes distress or makes sex difficult, it warrants treatment. Even when a person’s ejaculation time frame is within the average range, they may still wish to last longer.
1. Talk with your partner
Communicating with each other is vital to understanding what works and what does not. Having an open mind toward sex may help create a more relaxed atmosphere, increase intimacy, and lessen anxiety about sex.
anxiety about sex
Even though people may not feel comfortable talking about PE with their partner at first, once any concerns are out in the open, they can be managed together as a team. A 2019 study found that couples who communicate more about sex tend to have better sex than other couples.
2019 study
People may find the following tips for starting and holding a conversation about PE helpful:
choosing a time and place which is comfortable with no time pressures or distractions
being clear and open about feelings may make the conversation easier
trying not to assign any blame or get defensive
ending the discussion after agreeing on how to address premature ejaculation together
2. Lifestyle adjustments
A healthy lifestyle may improve a person’s sexual function. A 2020 study notes that physical factors, such as obesity, smoking, and substance misuse, and psychosocial factors, such as stress, anxiety, and depression, can harm sexual function.
healthy lifestyle
2020 study
obesity
smoking
substance misuse
stress
anxiety
depression
Taking the following steps may help a person have a more satisfying sex life:
avoiding recreational drugs
quitting smoking, if they smoke
decreasing alcohol intake
exercising regularly
following a balanced diet
managing stress with techniques such as meditation, yoga, and mindfulness
meditation
yoga
mindfulness
3. Foreplay
Some people may find that foreplay allows them to extend sexual activity. These individuals can pleasure and satisfy their partners without worrying about ejaculating early.
In a sample of 1,055 females who completed a confidential survey in the United States, only 18.4% said that penile-vaginal intercourse alone was sufficient for orgasm. 36.6% reported that clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse.
confidential survey
An older 2017 article also found that females orgasmed most often during assisted intercourse, which involved penetrative sex and clitoral stimulation.
2017 article
Therefore, people may find it helpful to incorporate oral sex or manual stimulation into their sexual activities, particularly if penetrative sex is unlikely to last long enough for all parties to reach orgasm.
Learn more about enhancing sexual arousal.
Learn more about enhancing sexual arousal.
4. Pelvic exercises
Pelvic floor exercises can strengthen the muscles that support the bladder and enable ejaculation. When urinating, a person can tense and stop the flow for 5–10 seconds, then start urinating again. Repeating this several times each day may mean they can build up to longer holds.
Pelvic floor exercises
Some people find that pelvic floor physical therapy offers significant relief. A physical therapist will diagnose any problems with the pelvic floor muscles before recommending at-home exercises to strengthen these muscles. Over time, this may prolong sex and improve bladder control.
physical therapy
bladder control
5. Biofeedback
Biofeedback uses electrical information to help people retrain their bodies to delay ejaculation. Over time, a person learns to control the urge to orgasm. In most cases, a person does biofeedback in a doctor’s or physical therapist’s office.
Biofeedback
During each session, the healthcare professional may use a probe to measure sensations during masturbation or other forms of stimulation. Then, they instruct the client to do exercises, visualization, or other techniques to delay ejaculation during stimulation.
6. Edging
Edging — also called the stop-start method — is the practice of stopping sexual stimulation just before orgasm. Once the effects of stimulation have passed, a person will begin stimulation again.
Edging
A 2019 study into the treatment strategies for PE stated that behavioral treatments like edging may not be enough to treat the condition fully. It may be best as a short-term management technique.
2019 study
According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM), females can also experience PE. Edging may be an option for them, too.
International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM)
7. Sexual techniques
Various sexual techniques can help a person delay ejaculation. When a person consistently practices them, these techniques can work well and progressively increase the duration of sex.
sexual techniques
Squeeze method: A person (or their partner) stimulates the penis until they are very close to ejaculating. Then, they tightly squeeze the penis without stimulating it, causing the erection to weaken slightly. It is safe to repeat this technique many times.
Stop-start method: Also known as edging, people should repeat this technique three times and then ejaculate on the fourth time.
Deep breathing: Some people find that deep breathing helps them refocus their mind and better control their erection. They can try slowing down stimulation and breathing slowly and deeply as ejaculation nears.
Visualization: Visualization exercises can help reduce some of the intensity of the experience, potentially delaying ejaculation. A person may find it helpful to visualize something unrelated to sex or focus on picturing the penis remaining hard.
8. Therapy
Psychotherapy can help a person identify any underlying psychological causes of their premature ejaculation, such as anxiety. A therapist can also recommend personalized exercises to delay ejaculation and prolong sexual activity.
Many couples find that attending sex counseling sessions together helps with premature ejaculation. The right therapist can ease both partners’ fears about the effects of early ejaculation and recommend shared activities to make sex more enjoyable.
sex counseling sessions
ReGain therapy
Price: from $60 to $90 per week, depending on location and therapist availability
Platform: desktop, iOS, Android
Reviews: 3.3 out of 5 stars, from over 120 reviews
3.3 out of 5 stars
BBB grade: F
F
ReGain therapy is an online counseling service focusing on individual, relationship, and marriage counseling. ReGain counselors are trained and accredited as psychologists, marriage and family therapists, social workers, or professional counselors.
ReGain therapy
People pay a subscription fee to use the service. They must complete an online questionnaire before ReGain matches them with a therapist. A person can communicate with their counselor via text, video conferencing, or phone calls. Communication with a counselor is available 24/7.
People can access the platform via desktop, iOS or Android devices. They may remain anonymous by entering a nickname instead of their full name during the sign-up process.
Both partners can share an account and have access to the same counselor. All information and communication is accessible to both partners and the counselor.
ReGain does not accept health insurance.
health insurance
Read our ReGain review.
Read our ReGain review.
GET STARTED WITH REGAIN NOW
people can sign up anonymously
suitable for couples and individuals
all therapists are qualified
online sessions may be more accessible than in-person appointments
people may cancel their subscription at any time
offers unlimited messaging and 24/7 access to counselors
counselors cannot diagnose or prescribe medication if required
there is no free trial
it does not accept insurance
therapists may focus more on issues in a relationship than on sex
9. Sex toys and penis rings
Sex toys give a person with premature ejaculation a different way to practice controlling their orgasm. They can try masturbating with sex toys alone, then stopping stimulation right before orgasm. After waiting for a few moments, they can try again.
Sex toys can also increase the partner’s pleasure, especially if it is impossible to have penetration long enough for them to orgasm. For female partners, a person can try stimulating the clitoris during intercourse, then using a vibrator or other sex toy to help them orgasm.
clitoris
Penis rings can also increase pleasure during sexual intercourse, but little evidence suggests they are effective for PE. Penis rings go around the base of the penis, usually around the shaft, testicles, or both. They typically use flexible silicone or rubber, and some have vibrate functions, which can offer a pleasurable way to try controlling orgasm.
Penis rings
10. Desensitizers
Anything that decreases the sensitivity of the penis may help a person delay ejaculation. Some doctors may recommend numbing creams or sprays.
A 2019 study investigated the efficacy of benzocaine wipes on people with PE and found that 88% of the participants using the wipes recovered from premature ejaculation after 2 months.
2019 study
Typically, people can apply the cream or spray to the head of the penis 20–30 minutes before sexual penetration. They should then rinse the product off 5–10 minutes before sex so that the numbing agent does not prevent an erection or cause their partner to experience vaginal or anal numbness. Using a condom may help by further dulling sensations.
apply the cream or spray
Roman Swipes
Price: from $22 a month
Amount: eight wipes per box
Active ingredients: 4% benzocaine
Requires a prescription: no
Reviews: 1.9 stars out of 5 from 13 reviews
1.9 stars out of 5
BBB grade: B
B
Roman Swipes are wipes that may help with premature ejaculation. They contain a 4% benzocaine solution, a mild topical anesthetic that numbs the nerve endings beneath the skin’s surface. Roman Swipes are available for people ages 18 years and older without a prescription.
Roman Swipes
mild topical anesthetic
The company states that people should apply the wipes to sensitive areas of the penis and allow it to dry for 5 minutes before engaging in sexual activity.
Roman also offers customers:
online consultations with doctors
prescriptions and refills
free follow-up appointments
free shipping
However, it does not accept insurance.
Learn more about PE wipes.
Learn more about PE wipes.
SHOP NOW AT ROMAN
fast results
may improve premature ejaculation over time
easy to use
online consultations and follow-up appointments are free
application may be messy
people need to subscribe to the services
no insurance coverage
unsuitable for people who are allergic to benzocaine
11. Medication
Medication may help with premature ejaculation, but doctors usually only prescribe drugs when other treatments have not worked.
A group of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can change sexual function and make it more difficult to orgasm. In this way, SSRIs may help delay ejaculation and allow a person to last longer.
selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
delay ejaculation
The American Urological Association states that doctors should offer daily SSRIs, clomipramine or dapoxetine for use as and when a person needs it, or topical anesthetics as first-line treatments.
American Urological Association
Hims
Price: from $24 per month
Consultation fee: free
Dosage: take daily as prescribed
Requires a prescription: yes
Hims is a telehealth company offering sertraline, a generic version of the SSRI Zoloft, as an off-label treatment for PE. The platform states it may increase the time to climax by up to 400%. Off-label use means the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved a drug for a particular use.
Hims
off-label treatment
Antidepressants like sertraline can reduce sexual desire, which may help a person delay orgasm. It can also affect a person’s drive or ability to get an erection.
can reduce
A recent 2021 study has proven the success of daily sertraline doses to treat PE, although people can take it as needed. However, antidepressants can produce various side effects, and a person should not take them without first discussing them with a doctor.
2021 study
side effects
Learn more about sexual side effects of antidepressants.
Learn more about sexual side effects of antidepressants.
To get sertraline from Hims, people must have a free online consultation by video call, text chat, or phone. A Hims doctor will prescribe the drug if they think it is appropriate.
People should check if their health insurance provider covers sertraline.
GET STARTED WITH HIMS
the service may be cost-effective and convenient
Hims prescribes medication within 24 hours
sertraline can be effective for PE
people need to subscribe to Hims
antidepressants can cause a wide range of side effects
sexual side effects of sertraline can include erectile dysfunction (ED)
erectile dysfunction (ED)
When to see a doctor
People may wish to consult a doctor, primary care physician, or urologist if PE:
urologist
occurs or has occurred enough times to cause problems within the relationship
leads to feelings of self-consciousness or low self-esteem
low self-esteem
stops the person from having intimate relationships
The doctor may ask various questions, such as:
how long the person has been sexually active
how long premature ejaculation has been a concern
how often premature ejaculation occurs
how long it takes for the person to ejaculate during intercourse
any drugs or medications they take
It is important to note that sex does not have to revolve around penetration or reaching orgasm. People can also find pleasure in other intimate activities, including kissing, touching, erotic massage, and using sex toys. This is sometimes called “outercourse.”
Frequently asked questions about lasting longer in bed
Below we answer some frequently asked questions about lasting longer in bed.
People can delay ejaculation by doing pelvic floor exercises, edging or stop-and-start methods, or trying desensitizing products or medication. Anyone experiencing premature ejaculation should speak with a doctor to find the best treatment.
Healthy lifestyle habits can help people maintain an erection for longer. This includes eating a balanced and nutritious diet, exercising regularly, reducing stress and alcohol intake, and stopping smoking. People can also try penis rings and medication, but they should speak with a doctor before trying any erectile dysfunction medication.
According to the National Library of Medicine, the average length of time a man should last before ejaculating is 5–7 minutes. However, this depends on many factors, such as the relationship and sexual arousal; thus, it may range from less than one minute to over half an hour.
National Library of Medicine
Summary
A person can try many techniques and methods to last longer in bed. These can involve adopting a healthy lifestyle or incorporating foreplay, sex toys, or new sexual techniques into sexual activities.
However, if premature ejaculation continues and begins to cause distress or make sex difficult, a person should see a doctor for help. If necessary, the doctor can refer them to a urologist or sex therapist.